i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
