margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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