how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
