sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
