I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Never joke about your clitoris.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
