I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
