i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
