**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
