Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
