so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
