I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
