Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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