We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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