I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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