What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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