Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
