Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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