It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize