yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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