i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
