I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
