If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
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