This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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