She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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