Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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