I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize