it hurts more in the daytime
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Text me some of your sweat
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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