Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I look better un-naked...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
