Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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