weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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