Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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