i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
