Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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