So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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