Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
