Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening http://tfl.nu/8ijj
  Replies (17) Good night (1557) Bad night (4868)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole. http://tfl.nu/haw4
  Replies (64) Good night (1535) Bad night (5788)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad http://tfl.nu/ilsx
  Replies (19) Good night (1228) Bad night (2856)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now. http://tfl.nu/uslm
  Replies (1) Good night (3046) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out. http://tfl.nu/gq5i
  Replies (9) Good night (2519) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles http://tfl.nu/rk9c
  Replies (13) Good night (2582) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after. http://tfl.nu/tury
  Replies (3) Good night (911) Bad night (1484)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it? http://tfl.nu/41ta
  Replies (6) Good night (2283) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides http://tfl.nu/z2rz
  Replies (2) Good night (1817) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high http://tfl.nu/8rya
  Replies (4) Good night (1583) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent. http://tfl.nu/lgq0
  Replies (7) Good night (1459) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected. http://tfl.nu/v8lk
  Replies (4) Good night (905) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm a sociology major remember

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Well that and comm

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Basically you majored in how to get laid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): I'm a sociology major remember (301): Well that and comm (479): Basically you majored in how to get laid http://tfl.nu/9p1r
  Replies (2) Good night (1359) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits. http://tfl.nu/jw7g
  Replies (3) Good night (451) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf http://tfl.nu/ir0h
  Replies (2) Good night (720) Bad night (293)

Randomize