Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(574): View more from Indiana

Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.

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(077): View more from

it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner

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(817): View more from Texas

Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.

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(941): View more from Florida

i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(252): View more from North Carolina

I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs

(609): View more from New Jersey

hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks

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(720): View more from Colorado

Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.

(303): View more from Colorado

Glad to hear you raised your standards

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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.

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(256): View more from Alabama

There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.

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