ADVERTISEMENT

• (818): View more from California

  Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?

  Fav 45 2515 1155

  share tweet
  

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?

  Fav 9 1087 2780

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (650): View more from California

  ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person

  Fav 13 1292 2672

  share tweet
  

• (937): View more from Ohio

  He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"

  Fav 9 4316 1113

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self

  Fav 24 4672 1394

  share tweet
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part

  Fav 15 1271 4546

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (253): View more from Washington

  She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty

  Fav 3 993 3023

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...

  Fav 8 1040 2724

  share tweet
  

• (913): View more from Kansas

  just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.

  Fav 6 1796 924

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow

  Fav 2 758 471

  share tweet
  

• (574): View more from Indiana

  When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE

  Fav 5 1205 528

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE

  Fav 3 484 661

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.

  Fav 2 370 782

  share tweet
  

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.

  Fav 4 869 383

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (703): View more from Virginia

  I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.

  Fav 2 189 400

  share tweet
  

Randomize