Cold hands, warm shart.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
