they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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