I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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