cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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