Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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