i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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