My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
