Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
