her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
