I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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