Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
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did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
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i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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