Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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