I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
