Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
