everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I am mentally ready for anal.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
