You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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