I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
