i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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