This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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