my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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