Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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