I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Holy shit dude........stairs
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
