i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize