i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
