I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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