i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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